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Ep.200 | Steve Mellor | Make Sure You’re Climbing the Right Success Mountain

What’s your go-to strategy for making sure you’re on the right path?

For years, I pursued a dream. Turns out I realized it…

Realized it was a nightmare, that is. 

Former Olympic-level Swim Coach turned leadership expert, Steve Mellor, leans right into this topic with me on today’s episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show.

In this latest episode, Steve and I talk about… 

  • What to do when you feel like your self-worth is tied up in the accomplishments you’re not achieving
  • How make sure you’re climbing the right success mountain
  • What Steve is seeing getting in the way of high achievers reaching their highest potential and optimal self

…and so much more.

If you want more confidence in the direction you’re heading in life, then lock in to today’s episode.

[00:01 – 10:25] Introducing Steve to the show

  • Steve’s most embarrassing moment
  • Steve’s background, story, and professional journey

[10:26 – 19:28] What to do when you feel like your self-worth is tied up in the accomplishments you’re not achieving

  • Steve didn’t have any answers to what the next step was, but he asked for help (and many of the people around him reminded him of his worth and value)
  • Asking for help starts with recognizing where you are and being honest with yourself
  • You have to be OK with pressing pause and asking the question, “What do I actually need right now?” 
  • In determining your needs, you must be real with yourself about where you’re actually viewing yourself from – it’s really important to get selfish at that point. When you’re hurting, it’s a really great to time to get selfish (i.e. introspective for season, not selfish always)

[19:29 – 29:01] How make sure you’re climbing the right success mountain

  • Steve had an epiphany that was on the wrong mountain – he realized he wasn’t a swim coach, he was a coach of swimmers
  • Even when you’re having success, you must ask, “Is this what I really want?”
  • To create the space to determine if we’re on the right path…
    • Realize you have more control than you think, especially if we just STOP and pay attention to what we have control over
    • Implement a “first and final 30” – mentality that the first and final 30 minutes of your day are the times where you have the most control over (it will help you better make decisions)
  • The calmness that comes from being still is one of the greatest feelings to operate in as a human being

[29:09 – 33:21] What Steve is seeing getting in the way of high achievers reaching their highest potential and optimal self

  • Applying empathy effectively 
  • Must put yourself in the shoes of someone else, and then return to your shoes and ask, “How should I approach this?”
  • Don’t just say, “I understand.” Tell others WHY you understand.

[33:22 – 37:52] What Olympians have that most people don’t

  • They don’t know when to accept it’s not possible. You can’t convince them that it’s not possible to achieve something.

[37:53 – 42:47] Wrapping Up

  • Steve’s BIG domino
  • How to connect with Steve

KEY QUOTES

“Avoid the four or five reasons you shouldn’t do something. Instead focus on the one reason why you should.” – Steve Mellor

“The calmness that comes from being still is one of the greatest feelings to operate in as a human being.” – Steve Mellor

“Don’t just say, ‘I understand.’ Tell others WHY you understand.” – Steve Mellor

CONNECT WITH STEVE

CONNECT WITH J.R.

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